We recently had a web writing expert review our site and he recommended that we use real names with our testimonials. While I do agree that real names lend a feeling of authenticity, I can’t bring myself to ask our readers, visitors, clients nor patients to allow me to put their name on the Internet.
Here’s why. My life policy about that is that I do not ask people to do what I myself would not have done. When I was in an abusive relationship, and as I was coming out of it, there is no way in hell that I would have felt okay about my name and message posted in that fashion. It is just something I would not have done.
To this end, we still honor the privacy of those who have shared with us over the years. Here is what they say…
Hear What People Say About the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen®. Comments from a Healthcare Provider and Domestic Abuse Survivor (30 sec.)
"I am grateful that over time that you helped me discover that even in the most volatile/dangerous situations, that I am not powerless! And in those turbulent times...I either have the choice to contribute to the escalation of the situation or more importantly, the power in my case, to deescalate the situation and keep myself, my partner and those I love safe." Anonymous Patient
"Dr. King, My son finally contacted me after seven years. I am in shock. Thanks for all of your help and guidance especially when I was suicidal. My son is now texting me every day. Plus he wants a new jersy with the number 17 (my birthdate). Thanks so much. And God Bless." Anonymous Consulting Client
"We believe that our work with you has been very helpful in fostering our love and dedication to each other our marriage and our family. ...This has been a helpful and enriching experience which seems to have taken us effectively to the next juncture in our marital growth. Without your help this would not have been possible. We are grateful to you." Anonymous Patients
"I read your insights (articles) and they are such great help, and I feel such spiritual uplift from each and every one. I am so very grateful for your experiences and knowledge and insight that help me with each read… Thank you for clarity and sanity and the nurturing of my roots to dig deeper and to be stronger. I am so very grateful." Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"Thank you for your articles. I consider it an answered prayer...(personal story)... Thanks! Loved to hear from you. God must have told you to contact me!" Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"I want to tell you that your wisdom and suggestions to end abusive relationships have assisted my clients to make their own new journey to move away from violence." Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"Dear Doctor, Thank you so very much for your insights. It is encouraging to my heart to know that those with these particular problems are able to get help through you and your organization. My particular problem is my daughter being emotionally abused by her husband. (Your article) hit the nail on the head about the person inflicting the emotional abuse. Thank you for your continued input. Your advice and insights are very much welcomed and appreciated." Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"Great Dr King, your messages are so powerful and I have forwarded to many of my friends in French Version since they cannot read English...and have been blessed and have their broken marital relationship transformed. We are so grateful to your Life Ministry." Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"I simply wanted to say thank you for all of the GREAT insight you have supplied me with over the last 1 1/2 years since I exited a life threatening violent relationship. Your articles have instilled in me a continued belief that I was not to blame! I love you for that! No one else has, nor had my back!" Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"After visiting your website, I had to come and tell you that I think you have done a beautiful job building and structuring your design of your sites. As we know, understanding the dynamics of abuse are so complex. I get a feeling of comfort and safety while being enriched with life saving information as well as a tool for prevention. The empowerment and education you provide is priceless..." Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"I was soooo lost in confusion, frustration, and despair, until I was finally able to find your sight!! Nobody would 'buy' that a big guy could be harmed by a 'petite, quiet, nice', woman... And she used to tell me how,
'nobody will believe you,' 'everyone see's me as nice, quiet, little [name omitted], who'd never hurt anyone.' I am so very grateful to you, and to God for putting an open door in front of me! Thank you, for doing God's Work!" Anonymous Reader
"Could not be more grateful and a million thanks for getting access to your site. My daughter who was in a relation with a woman beater and extracted large sums of money from her after reading from your website had finally mastered the courage to take action. The boyfriend has since been arrested, placed in a cell, released and now is not allowed to come close to her and her child. Keep up the good work, and only hope people like my daughter could get access to your work and get rid of bullies, woman beaters and the rest. Thanks once again..." Anonymous Parent of Survivor
"Thank you Dr. King for working so hard to help women who have been subject to not only an abusive ex-partner but the legal system also. No one should have to put up with either but abuse from an attorney just makes it somehow incredibly wrong. You have helped me a lot by sharing your insight and knowledge..." Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"Dr. King, Congratulations. For the second year in a row your CWR column, 'Breaking The Cycle,' has been selected by our readers as the overwhelming choice as their Favorite CWR Column. You are providing our readers with much needed information and advice, and they obviously appreciate you and your articles as much as we do. Thank you so much." Donell Edwards, The College World Reporter
"I simply wanted to say thank you for all of the GREAT insight you have supplied me with over the last 1 1/2 years since I exited a life threatening violent relationship. Your emails have instilled in me a continued belief that I was not to blame! I love you for that! No one else has, nor had my back! " Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"I read your e insights and they are such great help and I feel such spiritual uplift from each and every one. I am so very grateful for your experiences and knowledge and insight that help me each read… Thank you for clarity and sanity and the nurturing of my roots to dig deeper and to be stronger. I am so very grateful. " Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"My 7yr old son and I now live in transitional housing and are recovering from our domestic violence situation! Your newsletters have been a great inspiration and very helpful through the counseling to heal our wounds. Thank you! " Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"These eInsights have been a Tuesday emotional life line for me that I find myself looking for. If I am unaware of what day it is, the sight of the message in my Inbox provides a profound sense of connection that someone gets it. Thank You... " Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"Thank you sooo much for your emails. I am finally able to make the move and leave this abusive relationship. I have been verbally abused for almost 40 years... Thank you again. There is help out there for us old gals, God bless you! " Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"I was enlightened by the information you have available on your website. It helped me alot. " Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"I purchased your materials and have found the email news letters extremely valuable in coping and changing my situaion. Thank you for your support to all who face varying degrees of domestic abuse. " Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"I like reading your information and sometimes, well really alot of times, it hits home. " Anonymous eInsights Subscriber
"I love what you are doing and your direct, matter of fact approach to working with survivors, it is definitely a breath of fresh air." Family member of deceased domestic violence victim.
"Hallelujah!! I broke free after more than 25+ years. It is all so clear to me now. This website was one source I used to help me break the chains. Thank you. " Anonymous Survivor
"Your book, All But My Soul, was among the best I've read regarding domestic violence, in that your situation mirrors my own experience and history quite eerily. " Anonymous Survivor
"Your exposure to so many of us increases the chance for more of us to be set free and become whole human beings. Thank you, thank you for the work you are doing. Keep it up. Your messages help me stay focused on the right path for me without ire without venom. Just the safe and right path for me." God bless, Anonymous Survivor
"Dr. King you are doing an excellent job by offering a helping hand to those who have been suffering in silence for years. Your work explains how people’s most important responsibility is towards themselves. Healers like you are giving hope to thousands out there that they too deserve a life filled with love and care. Keep up the admirable work!" Kinjal Darukhanawala, Editor, DWL
"Great advice. I've been out of an unhealthy and emotionally abusive long term relationship now for 5 years. Reading your article reinforces that I'm on the right track. I hope that others who are not in this place read your article and find their way." Many thanks. Survivor, Collage Diva
"I recently checked out your writings and simply loved them. Your publications help others understand one can come out from the trap of abusive relationships to declutter one's life." Editor of Dealing with Life
"Reading this book helped me realize how to get the doctor to stay honest on my evaluation. Thank your for all your insights and information." Survivor, CA
"I have been on your email list for several months now. I want you to know how helpful your insights are to me. Please know how thankful I am for the information that you have provided. Each message that I receive gives me a glimmer of hope that I can survive this." Anonymous Survivor
"Thank you for all your information and tips. I am in a domestic abusive relationship and i use the information you send me. I am a man in this relationship. Know that it happens to men more than you know and it's very embarrassing as well as very down grading. I am trying to stop this visious cycle and man it's so hard. Bless you and thank you." Survivor, Michigan
"How refreshing and hopeful to have a psychologist who understands the emotional body and connection to our thoughts!!! Thank you so much for further insight..." JB-Tampa
"I feel blessed that I am able to receive from your website what wisdom and tools you offer to women like myself. Again, thank you sincerely." Anonymous Survivor
"Thank you, Jeanne, for finding your way out of the darkness and into the light so that you could guide the rest of us out of hell." Reader and Survivor
"Your site offers excellent resources and tools for anyone dealing with domestic violence and legal abuse in family court." Anonymous Survivor
"Thank you for you courage and strength in keeping on with your work, it is still so badly needed." Anonymous Survivor
"Thank you very much for your time and effort to help other people. I appreciate it." Anonymous
"Your website has been an important part of my healing. Thank you" Survivor
"I'm so grateful to have found your site. Thank you for the groundwork you have done in addressing the personal and legal side of domestic abuse." Survivor
"For the first time, I experienced "being heard." Reading these books resonated too deeply at times, and on other occasion gave voice and perspective to unresolved questions that have been brewing within. Thank you so much! I found it an enormously beneficial, enlightening and supportive experience." Anonymous
"I finally grasped the profile of the abuser, but until I read Dr. King's book I hadn't made the leap of understanding required to see how this profile infiltrates entire legal systems." Kathryn Kazan, MSW, CISW, Flagstaff AZ
"I did a 180 degree turn from being paralyzed by legal ploys to getting my voice before the court. Thank you for all of this useful information." Litigant in post-divorce/custody proceeding with an abuser. (Name and location intentionally omitted.)
"With the help of your insights, all of the shame has left me and I've grabbed the bull by the horns." Litigant in divorce proceeding with an abuser. (Name and location intentionally omitted.)
"I knew I was in trouble but didn't understand where it was coming from, much less how to address it, until I read Legal Domestic Abuse." (Name and location intentionally omitted.)
"My test confirmed an abusive relationship ... when I trace my journey, I see that the abuse was there from very early on, and that there were a number of professionals I approached, and clearly was expressing the red flags of an abusive relationship, but not one ever acknowledged, supported or directed me ... and the part about the ineffectiveness of regular therapy for the abuser (conveyed in the free downloads) resonates so deeply." Anonymous
"Excellent newsletter by the way. You have no idea how helpful and timely they are for me. I've been abused for many, many years but I am now emerging, painfully and slowly to myself. Thank you." Anonymous Survivor
"It reinforced for me more about what I had acknowledged about the abuse. I must say it even validates the victim too. They will realize where the crazy making and confusion that an abuser does to his or her victim comes from." Anonymous Survivor
"Sending my sister to the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen® gave us a way to talk about what she couldn't see before." C.M., California
"The test showed me the abuse from the inside out and that helped me deal with it." M.M. Flagstaff, AZ
"I found the Screen test informative. It allowed me to gain insight into my relationship with regard to the issue of abuse." Anonymous
"Seeing the subtle signs helped me recognize what drives his verbal abuse." S.A., San Diego, CA
"It gave me confidence and tools to help people recognize relationship violence." L.N., Social Worker, Department of Social Services, Rapid City, SD
"The test was very useful, and very non-pointing a figure (without pointing a finger). Yet, it put the responsibility of recognition on the shoulder of the survivor." Julianne Stangel, Nurse Practitioner, NM
"It's an excellent tool for assessing domestic violence." Teresa Nirider, RN, Public Health Nurse, WY Department of Health, Family Nurse Partnership Program.
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